It’s been on my mind a lot lately, even more than it was when my husband and I experienced our first few losses. I kept thinking to myself, it’s hard to believe that 1 in 4 of the children I meet and see every day will experience a loss. I’m not just talking about young girls, but I’m also talking about future fathers.
My heart breaks for (y)our children when I think about me and my husband’s reality. A 22 year old woman, a 24 year old man, happy, in love, blissfully naive. Beginning the journey to motherhood and fatherhood, not realizing what was in store for us both. Not realizing that loss was a part of our paths to becoming parents to our only living child.
It’s been heavy on my heart to begin to pray for these children, not just our own son, that they never have to experience what we have, and that if loss must be a part of their journey, that they will not lose their way.
To the reader: if you’ve ever experienced a loss, or if you’re going through a loss, this prayer is for you too.
Dear God in the Name of Jesus,
I pray that they will be given the strength to push through it. I pray that these future parents will know to use the Word of God to stand on. I pray that they come across music that helps them to get through the sleepless nights as I did when God laid specific artists on my heart to listen to. I pray for the future mothers, that they would learn to be patient with themselves, that they would not immediately blame themselves for the loss that they experience, as I did. I pray that these future parents would not feel guilt or embarrassment as I did. I pray that the future fathers will know how to grieve and be gracious to themselves through the grieving process. I pray that future fathers would not feel like any less of a man because they’ve chosen to grieve their child the way that they want to grieve their child. I pray that they will not punish themselves for feeling helpless during those times of grief. I pray that these future parents will not blame themselves for the loss of their child.
I pray that God would give these couples and single parents the strength to lean on each other. I pray that these times of grief would bring them closer together, not push them further apart. I pray that they would not feel as though the loss of a child is the end of the world, like I once did. I pray against the depression that these future parents would be faced with. I pray against suicidal thoughts, and thoughts of hopelessness like the ones I felt when I went through my losses. I pray that they would stay on the path of righteousness, even when they feel like they’ve lost everything as Job had in the Bible. I pray that God would completely surround them with love from friends and family. I pray that God would send people to their lives that have been there, so that they have someone to connect to like I found, even virtually on the internet. I pray that their friends and family would understand that healing takes time. I pray that these future parents would take all the time that they need, and not feel pressured by others’ standards. I pray that their friends and family will remember their lost child(ren). And I pray that their friends and family would not cast judgement on these future parents who choose to honor their lost child(ren) in the way they so desire. I pray that these friends and family would be empathetic and sensitive toward their situations.
I pray that they find peace in the midst of this chaotic time. I pray that God would send them a peace beyond their own understanding. I pray that they will find their way back to God, like I did. I pray that they would not seek comfort in worldly things or places, but that they would look to God. And I pray that God would fill the voids in their hearts that will inevitably be there after experiencing loss.
I pray that God would protect their minds, bodies, souls, and spirits during their time of grief. I pray that God would lift up a standard when the enemy tries to flood in. I pray that God would cover them under His blood and keep the enemy from exploiting them during their time of weakness. I pray that their prayer life would increase ten-fold. I pray that they would even want to pray. I pray that they would not blame God like I did. I pray that they would lean on and trust in God during this time.
I pray that God would give them the courage to keep trying, even if they experience one, two, or three losses like we did. I pray that the ideas of fostering and adoption would not be looked down on if they are unable to have biological children.
I pray that God would place the right doctors and medical professionals in their lives, the way God did in ours. I pray that God and science would come together to help these future parents achieve their hopes and dreams of having a baby.
If they so choose to foster or adopt, I pray that the right opportunities to do so would come their way, and quickly.
Ultimately, I pray that they will find joy and laughter again one day, just as we have.